~~~
Generation I
Voltorb and Electrode
Pokeball duplication error
Magnemite and Magneton
Experimental accident involving magnets and screws
Jynx
Possibly offensive racial stereotype?
Mr.Mime
Vacant clown reincarnation
Machoke and Machamp
Steroid abuse poster man
Tangela
Red footed spaghetti monster
Porygon
Painted blocks of cheese
Total: 10
The original generation offers many well thought out Pokémon, so we can surely forgive some of the novelty ones such as Voltorb and Magnemite. Jynx and Mr. Mime however, are just plain weird.
~~~
Generation II
Sudowoodo
Product of a tree and boulder after failing to learn how to dance
Aipom
Not quite a monkey but not yet a glove
Sunflora
The hybrid of a sunflower and catnip
Unown
Give each letter of the English alphabet an eye
Wobbuffet
Created by taping together a balloon, bed sheet and coat rack
Pineco
A pine cone with a tiny man inside
Qwilfish
Spiky ball with eyes, lips and a tail glued on
Remoraid
A very perturbed fish
Octillery
An octopus with a toilet cone embedded in it’s face from birth
Porygon 2
A painted children’s roller toy
Total: 10
Not quite as well done as the first 151, but still a good effort. The designs are beginning to stray slightly, but there are some solid new ideas in there.
~~~
Generation III
Baltoy and Claydol
An ancient dreidel and an old ceramic hotpot
Sableye
Midget zombie wearing a superhero cosplay costume
Barboach
A long, eel looking fish thing with a silly face
Trapinch
A repainted mouser from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Makuhita
A fat man with a tied hobo sack for a head
Snorunt and Glailie
A Tiki mask and the Devil’s angry hailstone
Solrock
A mutant Sunstone
Mawile
The result of genetic splicing between a child, a Venus fly trap and an oversized hair straightener
Wynaut
Created by taping together a smaller balloon, a bed sheet and coat rack
Duskull
A Haunter wearing a sheet and a skull mask for Halloween
Gulpin
A bag of sand in a sack, with lips and a feather stuck into it
Nosepass
Boulder helmet with a botched rhinoplasty
Shuppet
A maraca with a bed sheet pinned over the top
Volbeat
Flamboyant insect on too many illegal substances
Illumise
Product resulting from reassembling a beetle and Cogsworth from Beauty and the Beast
Lileep
Poisonous anemone
Cradily
Hybrid of an anemone and a Piranha Plant from Super Mario
Beldum
Vintage dumbbell with an eye
Total: 20
Now we’re starting to come off the track. Creative designs and good looking Pokémon seem to be becoming rarer, while the number resembling objects is increasing.
~~~
Generation IV
Poor replacements for Pokémon that already exist: Starly line = Pidgey line, Shieldon line = Aron line, Glameow line = Meowth line, Gible line = Bagon line, Croagunk line = Poliwag line, Finneon line = Goldeen line.
Bidoof
A dense looking beaver.
Bibarel
An even denser looking beaver.
Ambipom
Monkey equivalent of Michael Jackson
Lopunny
Offspring of Lola bunny and a woolly coat
Stunky
A skunk on drugs
Skuntank
A skunk on more drugs
Bronzor
An ugly Frisbee with eyes
Bronzong
An ugly bell with eyes
Bonsly
Mix between a bonsai tree, a boulder and Science Goo
Spiritomb
Angry halitosis in a jar
Hippopotas
An ugly, younger hippopotamus
Hippowdon
An ugly, old hippopotamus full of sand
Carnivine
Cross between a Venus flytrap and streamers
Snover
A stubby tree
Abomasnow
Offspring of a stubby tree and a Yeti
Magnezone
Experimental accident involving magnets, screws and a radio antenna
Tangrowth
A larger red footed spaghetti monster
Porygon-Z
Painted children’s toy after spending several decades in space
Probopass
Failed attempt at repairing a botched rhinoplasty by turning into Mr Potato Head
Rotom
A both deranged and haunted electrical appliance
Palkia
Lego creation
Heatran
A coffee bean monster
Regigas
A poorly designed robot, abandoned in the jungle
Manaphy
Balloon trick
Phione
Similar balloon trick
Darkrai
Created by gluing together a broom, knight armour and black clothing
Shaymin
Either a pretty hedgehog or a deer
Arceus
A horse dressed for a costume party
Total: 42
It seems we’re out of ideas now, and are desperately trying to come up with fresh designs. We’re out of unique animals to base the Pokémon after now, so we’ll have to make modifications on some that we have used before. We also seem to be having some confusion with the definition of ‘cute.’
~~~
Generation V
Poor replacements for Pokémon that already exist: Tepig line = Spoink line, Patrat line = Bidoof line, Victini = Jirachi, Purrloin = Glameow line = Meowth line, Chimchar line = Pansage line + Pansear line + Panpour line, Pidove line = Starly line = Pidgey line, Blitzle line = Ponyta line, Roggenrola line = Geodude line, Woobat line = Zubat line, Drilbur line = Sandshrew line, Audino = Clefable, Timburr line = Machop line, Tympole line = Poliwag line, Throh = Hitmonchan, Sawk = Hitmonlee, Cottonee line = Hoppip line, Petilil = Oddish line, Basculin = Relicanth, Sandile line = Totodile line, Maractus = Cacnea, Tirtouga line = Turtwig line = Squirtle line, Zorua line = Vulpix line, Gothita line = Smoochum line, Deerling line = Stantler, Emolga = Pachirisu, Karrablast = Heracross, Alomomola = Luvdisc, Joltik line = Nincada line, Ferroseed line = Pineco line, Eelektrik = Gorebyss, Eelektross = Huntail, Axew line = Gible line = Bagon line, Cubchoo line = Teddiursa line, Shelmet line = Shellder line, Cobalion + Terrakion + Virizion = Suicine + Entei + Raikou
Oshawott
An inappropriate clown displaying something vaguely vulgar on it’s chest
Lillipup
A Maltese puppy after a pie has been thrown onto it’s face
Darumaka
Poop that sprouted legs and walked
Darmanitan
The missing evolutionary link between poop, a gorilla and Rock Lee
Scraggy
A man dressed in a poorly made lizard suit
Scrafty
An old man still dressed in a poorly made lizard suit
Sigilyph
Created by gluing together a ball, crepe paper and some forks
Yamask
An ancient doorknocker
Cofagrigus
Probably what Atem used to look like at some stage
Vanillite
One scoop of retarded ice cream
Vanillish
One deluxe scoop of retarded ice cream
Vanilluxe
Two deluxe scoops of retarded ice cream plus a free straw
Trubbish
A leaking garbage bag after exposure to radiation
Garbodor
A leaking garbage bag after exposure to radiation, bubblegum and Mickey Mouse
Escavalier
A knight in a sleeping bag
Foongus
A mushroom that evolved to look like a Pokeball
Amoongus
A mushroom that evolved to look like three Pokeballs
Frillish
Created by taping a pomegranate and coloured cellophane together
Jellicent
Created by taping a pomegranate filled with shaving cream and coloured cellophane together
Klink, Klang and Klinklang
A bunch of dopey, one-eyed Lego cogs
Elgyem
A child in a good alien suit made for a school play
Beheeyem
A child in an evil alien suit made for a school play
Cryogonal
Failed attempt at a mechanical snowflake
Stunfisk
A fat dumpling overstuffed with a parrot
Mienfoo
Standard anime karate bear
Golett and Golurk
Rejected Transformers
Pawniard and Bisharp
Rejected Power Rangers
Heatmor
Cross between an anteater, a flamethrower, a rotting watermelon, and a banana
Durant
A robotic spy device gone mad
Deino, Zweilous and Hydreigon
Lost Yu-gi-Oh! Duel Monsters
Tornadus, Thundurus, and Landorus
The same old man Photoshopped badly in three different ways
Kedeo
A horse with hair dye regret
Meloetta
A crude Barbie doll created with a polystyrene ball and old wrapping paper
Genesect
A free Duel Monster donation by the good people at Yu-Gi-Oh!
Total: 114
We’re really tired of this franchise and wish it would just die already. We’re completely at our limit when it comes to new designs, so we are going to borrow some ideas off Digimon and Yu-Gi-Oh! Since we can only base Pokémon off the same animals a few times, we’re going to have to create some fresh crap using rocks and leaves. Hurry it up, we have to get this new game on the shelves by April. I don’t even care what you come up with, we just need another 155 Pokémon so we can release a whole bunch of new merchandise for our blindly loyal fanbase to buy!
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