Tuesday, July 12, 2011

About Make-Up

Now, given that I seldom actually go outside for any reason other than getting my mail, I don’t actually know much about painting my face. However, I am qualified to tell you how not to look like a bum, thereby giving you slightly more chance of success at that job interview.

The two main reasons I bother at all with make-up are:
1) I am as pale as death, and if I don’t cover up my skin with something, I’m in serious danger of either getting burnt or developing a melanoma.
2) I had to make some effort to look presentable to get work. (As well as pass a bunch of aptitude tests and interviews.)

So if you’re like me and would rather spend your money on more important things, such as Pokémon, read on and I’ll tell you how to successfully look like you’re blending in with society.


I am quite lazy with maintenance and mostly use Nivea products, because that’s what they have at the store when I go to buy cat food. I only actually use the Deep Clean gel when I shower, otherwise I just grab a nearby bottle of Cetaphil. They both do their job, and I don’t really see the need in buying any other products as far as washing your face goes. They’re both quite cheap as well. I also have some kind of toner which I never remember to use.

I know everyone says cleaning your face at the end of the day is incredibly important, but honestly my skin seems to look better the next day when I just sleep with the product on. Yes, I know anyone who knows anything about facial products is recoiling in horror at the idea, but it doesn’t seem to have any negative impact on me. Could it be the products I use? In any case, most of the time I can’t be bothered to put stuff on just to wash it all off again later. It just seems kind of wasteful to me.

If your goal is to get eerily pale skin like mine, my advice is just to not go outside. Bring an umbrella if you do have to, so that way the sun doesn’t harm you as much.


Firstly, I have the kind of skin that seeps out oil as the day goes on. Thus, I have to try to do something to combat the inevitable greasy, shiny effect. I have several things I can use for this: 1) Control Shine cream, 2) Primer, 3) Mattifying powder, 4) BB cream.

Personally I find just the Control Shine cream doesn’t do so well with all the other products stacked on top, while BB cream seems to work somewhat, and mattifying powder succeeds in getting rid of most of the shine but still leaves the skin surface slightly oily to touch.

The best way I’ve found so far to fix this issue is to use mattifying powder after the Control Shine cream and finish by using an anti-shine powder to set all the other layers in place. Carrying paper towels also allows for quick removal of any oil which has bubbled to the surface. Putting on a primer layer first means the actual make-up will go on smoother, thus making you seem less like a hobo and more like a polished corporate flyer.


Now, the fun part. The façade that is a flawless complexion. I am currently using two BB creams at once, Shills Super Magic BB Cream (Cherry Blossom) and Missha Perfect Cover BB Cream (No. 13).

Shills Super Magic BB Cream

Shills BB cream claims to control shine, but it doesn’t do such a good job of it when mixed with other primer products. However, it is a very good light foundation for when your skin is looking naturally clear. It smells exquisite and, when absorbed, does well at brightening the skin. I find this improves skin condition when you forget to wash it away overnight. It is also described as a 6-in-1 BB cream – so a UV protector, skin whitener, oil control, moisturizer, concealer, and make-up base all at the same time. Although in my experience with it, Shills BB cream isn’t so great with being an oil control, concealer or base.  As far as being a base goes, this cream applied underneath other products seems to cause a lot of shine. It also has quite a thin consistency, so it’s not so good with concealing either. What this is very good for though, is for when you just want to step out to buy groceries and you need to put something on your face so you don’t look like a zombie.

Beware if you buy Shills BB cream online, as fakes are rampant. Try and find one that comes from a reliable Hong Kong supplier and check the packaging carefully. The genuine product that I received was sealed with clear factory shrink wrap while the fake was not. The biggest giveaway for a fake is the cream itself, as the authentic stuff has that luxurious smell and it is also much lighter and more liquid–like than the copies.

Missha Perfect Cover BB Cream

Missha’s BB cream might as well be Photoshop in a bottle. It feels very light but has very good concealing power for covering up smaller blemishes. It is clearly the superior and more expensive product. It’s also SPF 42, which is awesome. If doubled up to conceal more though, it begins to look heavy, although it does not feel like it.

Most people would probably want to use shade No.21, as I have used this darker shade previously and it was still able to adapt to my ghostly skin tone quite well. I’m back on shade No.13, because that’s the lightest shade they have, and I’m pretty sure I’m the kind of ultra-pale person they intended to sell it to.  This BB cream will make your skin look like it is always clear, even if you actually look like you have chickenpox underneath. And because it’s a BB cream, I’ve actually found it improves the skin a lot at the same time. Because I can never be bothered to wash my face at the end of the day, just wipe it with a paper napkin sometimes.


Particularly if you are as pale as me, any little blemish is going to stand out a lot. So, it is of vital importance that you cover all flaws up with a good concealer. I’m just using a liquid concealer by Maybelline because it was convenient to get. It’s probably not the best I could do, but it does the job. Liquid concealer also blends into the BB creams better, and also doesn’t seem to add to the shine problem in my case. If you’re feeling especially lazy or are running late, concealer should be your first priority because it will cover up any larger imperfections quickly.

I have those half hidden double eyelids nobody seems to want. Basically it means I have a legitimate reason to be lazy and not bother with shadows, or really anything to do with my eyes. I wear glasses all the time as well, and it’s either too annoying or it hardly makes a difference. Either way, the advantage of not having heavy double lids is that I always look like me no matter what. I will mention that Vaseline (among other concoctions) will make your eyelashes grow longer, especially if you trim the tips off them first before applying.

The one thing I did do was buy a grey Shiseido brow pencil for $2.50 shipped off Ebay. I have to let you know how awesome it is. You can draw and draw with it for months and it remains pointed without ever having to be sharpened. The product itself feels like a pencil in that it is dry and produces light lines with little force. Using a brow pencil like this one will really help prevent you gaining a greasy uni-brow.


I couldn’t really be bothered with buying lipstick, so I’m surviving nicely on free samples I got from a generous friend who works in retail. It’s always going to come off through the day when you drink and eat, so I just dab it on a few times and then smudge it out. Most often I end up just using a Lip Smacker because they smell good and stop the lips from cracking.

Finishing Powder

Yes, now after layering on all those products, grab some powder and cake it all in place. I’ve got Maybelline’s Shine Free Powder and mattifying powder. If you have oily skin, you must apply mattifying powder to help prevent any future greasy shine. Most of the product effect will last a few days after this, so if you sleep with it on you can apply just one product before the finishing powder the next day and you will look fine. Well, in my experience you would.

The main thing about this is that in the end, you will look like you don’t have much product on at all. As if you were naturally born flawless, ready to contribute to the world… even though in reality you might just like to read picture books with your cat. Now anything you do will seem totally amazing, because you look a little more significant to the common people.


In the beginning, I just tied my hair up in a ponytail-like style without pulling it all the way through the band. But since then I have gone back to not bothering to brush my hair, and just leave it all down. I have wavy thick hair, so nobody seems to be able to tell whether or I comb it or not. I’m telling you now: I never comb it. When I go to a hairdresser yearly, I am their worst nightmare.

And there you have it, things you can apply to your face in order to avoid looking like a vagrant. All you need now are two shirts and a snazzy jacket that you can wear all the time and you’ll look totally productive to the unsuspecting public. Nobody will ever know you actually spend all your spare time on WoW or watching Eyeshield 21. Until you tell them. But by then, it will be too late. ^^ Well done!

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