Procrastination

Are exams near? Don’t feel like starting that assignment until 4 hours before the due date? Welcome to the wonderful world of meaningless and infinite possibilities that is procrastination!

1. Surf YouTube. Keep clicking on related video links until you run out of new material. This will keep you occupied for days on end.

2. Watch videos and listen to music that you already have stored on your computer. Rate and rename them accordingly.

3. Organise and clear all unnecessary files on your computer. Run as many virus and malware scanners you can get your hands on.

4. Write a list of short term goals, detailing tasks such as what foods or pet supplies to buy.

5. Play a game (preferably one you have finished before) on your Nintendo DS or computer. Take screenshots and write a walkthrough to guide others.

6. Doodle on spare paper. Take photos of any inspired work to expand on later.

7. Go out and buy a truckload of junk food. Consume it while lying around watching animated reruns. Take screenshots of all your favourite scenes and scribble down quotes. Use a fresh notebook to write down all the plot holes and inconsistencies in order to burn off any extra calories.

8. Take photographs of your pet. Use the prints to create personalised gifts for future use.

9. Go to Ebay and buy a ton of things you have always kind of wanted, but don’t need. If you can’t think of anything to buy, find something through aimless browsing. You can also expand your online shopping experience to an international level by going to sites like YJ! or Strapya.

10. Paint a picture. Mix colours and see how many unique shades you can come up with. Ponder the meaning of life once you discover that you always end up with grey.

11. Bake a cake. Use icing creatively to make it look nice.

12. Sleep. 16 hours a day.

13. Google things you’ve always meant to find out about.

14. Observe the cat for an entire day. Take notes and photographs.

15. Write a children’s book. Illustrate it yourself.

16. Go out and have lunch with your friends/acquaintances/those people things you talk to occasionally.

17. Construct a functional shelter for your pet using spare materials found around your home.

18. Clean the house. Polish all surfaces until they are clean enough to safely eat off.

19. Take a closer look at the paintings in the room. Jot down what you think the colours mean.

20. Watch the birds in your yard, preferably with your cat. Mull over what they might be saying to one another and write scripts.

21. Stare at your reflection in a spoon until you start to have an existential crisis.

22. Chew gum until flavourless. Remove and shape it into sculptures. Wait for your masterpiece to air dry before adding colour.

23. Fold paper until it either falls apart or you end up with something interesting.

24. Take one of every different type of cat biscuit available and arrange them on a piece of blank paper. Number and label each sample. Write a hypothesis detailing which flavours you believe the cat will enjoy the most and why. Find out in what order your cat prefers to eat the biscuits in. Repeat this procedure several times until consistent results are obtained. Write a report explaining your cat’s favourite biscuit flavours. Summarise your work and elaborate to describe why the cat prefers the taste of some biscuit varieties over others. Include any graphs, charts or tables as required.

25. Write a procrastination list, but put it off for several days first.